An ode to my journey through the lens of the tools that helped save my life. If you think this is about you, you're probably right.

Photo by Sarah Ramsay

Liked by all, and loathed all the same.

Do you think the others are just playing a game?

When it's just me and you the energy's divine.

Then your friends come around and you've lost your spine.

They stare and wonder what's so strange about me.

Can't put a finger on it, but they're intrigued.

I thought you'd hype me up, like I see friends do.

But instead you got jealous and made it about you.

“Oh that's just Sarah, don't worry about her.

She barely exists, she's basically a blur.”

That's because you couldn't really see my soul.

Or maybe you could and that was your goal.

To make me seem lesser, the easy one to put down.

To make you seem better, while you look like a clown.

Couldn’t face your own lack, so you kept me around.

But my mirror got too strong and I started to drown.

It took me a while to see what you were doing.

But once I did, I knew it had always been brewing.

Your projections making me seem crazy.

When I got burnt out you said I was lazy.

The illusions were all too hazy.

I've reignited and I'm oh so blazy.

Do you even wanna get to know me?

Or are you just trying to control me?

Afraid I'll expose all your regrets.

I was never too good with secrets.

Not when keeping them causes more harm than good.

I'll release that burden, just as I should.

“I love her, she tells it like it is, such a relief.

Wait, now she's calling me out, I thought she was naive?”

Actually, I see things you don't even conceive.

There's magic everywhere ~ do you believe?

Never been one to fit into the group.

Always one friend keeping me in the loop.

Everyone else looking at me with that loaded smirk.

Like I had missed something, while I did their homework.

They think I’m strange and inept.

In actuality, I’m really quite adept.

Expected to be who they think, often invited from pity.

But I could only show up as me ~ deep, passionate, animated, witty.

The smart one, the chill one, the go with the flow one.

The weird one, the blunt one, the deeply unsung.

Insecure women throw gnarly projections.

Go love yourself, drop the passive aggressions.

You're so blind that you can't lift me up.

But I can see clearly so I'll fill my own cup!

You're mad because I don't follow the rules.

I forged my own path and gathered new tools.

This new life I live is pretty fucking cool.

You can keep your pity, I'll be The Fool.

Signed,

~a 5/1 Self-Projected Projector with Channel 13-33

~a Cancer Rising and Mars

~a Pisces Sun, Mercury, and Lilith

~a Leo Moon and Chiron

~an Aries Venus and Midheaven

~a 5 of Spades, The Wanderer

~The Empress and the Hanged Man

~The Water Rooster

~The Ocelot

~Sarah Ramsay

Sarah ~ The Wandering Storyteller

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